Day 14 - swimming & tea

    

                                                                Not how I looked this morning!

I am inordinately proud of the fact that I swam this morning - 60 lengths (1.5km)! It something that I have been planning (and failing) to do for over a month. This morning I finally got there. It reminded me of getting going with sobriety. The air was so chilly, the water was downright cold and when I jumped in I wanted to jump straight out again. But I stayed in and started to move - gasping for breath, feeling uncomfortable until I found my rythym and just swam...and swam. When I got out I felt that wonderful full-body tiredness and just so calm and happy. And it was still only 9:30am. On a Saturday. With no hangover! Nothing better. 

On the other hand, I am not sure I escaped the experience with my dignity entirely in tact. I was the only person at the pool when I arrived (we are lucky enough to have a huge pool in the estate where I live but at weekends it can get busy with everyone hanging out and kids playing). So was merrily doing my Dory thing 'Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming......' For the last lap I always do Butterfly, which I find completely exhausting. My technique is no doubt shocking and to any casual observer it would probably look less like 'Butterfly' and more like 'Drunken Moth'. I triumphantly finished that last (very very slow length) and looked up to see about 10 high school boys watching in open mouth horror, probably not knowing whether 'that poor woman' needing immediate lifesaving or not.

I popped in at one of my best friends for a 'drink' earlier this evening. She had invited me to swing by for champagne as it was her daughter's birthday and my girls were at her house to celebrate and sleep over. She is one of my favourite people in the world and the best running bud. Our runs are so thereapeutic as we talk through all our problems and put the worlds to rights. We are lucky enough to have one of those special whole family friendships where our husbands have bonded and our kids adore each other. And (at the moment) we live within walking distance of each other. This will, in all likelihood, change soon as plans are afoot for them to emigrate some time next year (heart = breaking!)

I felt some pangs walking to her house at it was a perfect summer evening and we have shared so many special evenings quaffing wine, laughing hysterically and talking non-stop. But I reminded myself that the specialness comes from the company - not the liquid, right? I said no to the (open whispering) champage and asked for tea instead. She was supportive as always and I kept my explanation brief just saying I felt I needed a 100 days break. Her husband was on face-time with us through most of our time together (he is working overseas at the moment so things are tough for her) so didn't feel the timing was right to talk deeper. I know she understands this is something I have grappled with for the last few years and more will come out during our runs.

As always we had an amazing time together, if anything it was better as I could be more attentive to things that were stressing her out instead of having my attention-span hijacked by alcohol. I walked home later feeling good and light - nothing was missing from that interaction, if anything something was added.

Yay, 2 full weeks tomorrow!

Xx